I know that everyone must be wondering about Lance Sanders, famous for this great website Lance Sanders dot com.  So I will tell you a little about me.

I work at Burger King, as a cashier.  I enjoy meeting all the people that come in, and am fluent in Spanish so that is a big help for the French customers.  Numbers are easy.  I would use Spanish more, but I would get my face slapped.  I learned most of it from Sesame Street, and the rest are bad words I learned from the kids at school. 

Keepin it real at BK.  I was making money the whole time this picture was being taken.

I get a HUGE paycheck every week.  I won't tell you how much my paycheck is, because that is confidential information, but I can tell you I get $3.85 an hour.  All the women at the bank know me.  If you want to be on my good side, you better deposit that check with the minimum of hassle.  I make the phat dollas and they know it.  I got tha Benjamins.

I live in a mobile home, which is great for my hobby - tornado chasing.  They come to me instead of me having to go chase them.  Saves me a lot of gas money, hence I can roll more into my 401 BK.  Trump ain't got nothing on this cat.  I got it made in the shade with lemonade.

Days off usually give me time to catch up on the Dukes of Hazzard re-runs, and go to the grocery store for frozen pizzas, Beanee Weenee's and SpaghettiO's.  And those Sam's Choice Colas are tha bomb.  You never know when one of those honeys at the bank may come by here, so I gotta be stocked up.  They got my address you know, from my deposit slips.  They will probably be knocking on my door soon.  Get the Bee Gee's Greatest Hits kickin on the record player, and who knows what will happen.

You are probably wondering, how in the hell does Lance have all this time to put up such a complicated website, keep the bank chicks at bay, and work all those hours at Burger King?  Let me tell you it is difficult, but it can be done.  I use a Franklin Planner to keep my shit straight.  I block out time for everything, down to when I tie my shoes.  What screws me up is when I have time blocked out for tying my shoes, but put on sneakers.  I will have to work on that.

Do you want to super-size that for 39 cents?

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