Guess I will mention the one teacher that we gave particular hell to in school.   That's right, Mr. Helms.

His wood shop class was down the hill from our main school building, so we took the opportunity during the walk to smoke, drink, say bad words or whatever on the way down there.  Nobody really watched the kids walking down the hill so it was a free for all.

We'd get in his class and fart during exams, eat his sack lunch & hork some of his cigarettes for the walk back up.  Maybe hassle some of the art class students on the way.  I'd have my ghetto blaster in my gym bag, and I'd crank it up out in the shop.  We weren't supposed to have electronic devices at school but he didn't give a damn.  We'd run each other's books through the planer, drill press, jointer, table saw or whatever we could find.  My brand new textbook was totally trashed at the end of the year.  And the joker didn't even charge me a fine.

I built a shelving unit (above) in his class.  I still have it.  And it still looks like a piece of shit.

After seeing Animal House, we decided it would be funny to cough and say words.  Phrases like "eat me" and "blow job" were great, but we started saying "uh-Helms" in his class.  He never even flinched.  We shortened it to Helm, for our convenience.  We called this "nailing a Helm."

Then we had to run the gamut of anything Helm.  Such as Helmann's Mayonnaise, Helmet, Helm & cheese, Helmburger, Highway to Helm, etc.  Still no response.  This cat was either shell-shocked from years of students or he just didn't give a rat's ass.

We here at Lance Sanders dot com would like to honor this laid-back approach to teaching.  If all teachers were like that, there would be many more students like me with really great websites.  But dumb.

Sorry for all the Helm we raised in your class, but if I ever see you out in public you are going to hear it again.

Nail a Helm by clicking each of these 3 images.

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